"Knock down ginger" now categorised as a 'gingerist minority hate crime' by Inspector Knacker and the team at Neasden CID. If unable to identify the perpetrators then the full weight of the law, including Inspector 'Fatty' Arbuthnot, who self-identifies as thin, (pronouns they/them) will bear down on the supposed victims for wasting police time while, at the same time offering (paid) counselling to the 'victims' for any traumatic stress caused by an unidentified child/children / person of dimished growthknocking on their door. Inspectors Knacker and Arbuthnot will be present at Chiswick Police Station (if someone can find the key) for a residents' forum from 08:00-0815 on Sunday 3 May. Please submit any questions, in writing, at least seven days in advance.
N V Brooks ● 2d