Eats, shoots and leaves
I am not a grammar fascist. I don't care about peoples spelling so much as their vocabulary.That may be because I was taught to read before I was taught to write. I know the sting of my fathers tongue on the pitiful scrawl of my hand writing and punctuation. You see my mum taught me to read from the minute I started talking. She was however not confident in teaching me to write as she had Osteoporosis and Rheumatoid Arthritis especially in her hands and did not want me to start St Joseph's Catholic Junior School in Kingston Upon Thames, Surrey with something the Penguins would hold against me. Teaching Nuns in the 1960's were neither forgiving nor inspiring upon finding something they considered a deficit in a child, and scrawl like drunk spiders dipped in ink would be the target on your back (workbook) so to speak. I spent a mixed emotional time at St J's and by the age of 7 we moved from KUTS to Hounslow. Bedfont to be more accurate. My cousins lived all around and I as an only child had a ready made gang of fiercly loyal little cousins to play with. I was supposed to go to the Catholic School in Feltham but they seemed reticent to take me mid term. So my parents decided it was not necessary for me to go to Catholic School. It's distance from us and no direct transport would have made it hard for my mother and that was a considerable factor too. I was enrolled in Bedfont Juniour School. The happiest 4 years of education until University there ensued. My first teacher Mr Bhatti taught me for 6 weeks and then spoke to the head Mr McCloud. They got mum and dad in and asked if they could test me. My mortified parents asked why. Apparently Mr Sullivan the head at St J's had sent my final report over and it did not quite match their understanding of my abilities. So they wanted to make sure I was in the correct place for me to learn happily and well.My parents said yes after being told it would not be anything more than a nice lady reading with me and playing puzzle games. Then talking to me about the things I liked. My mother told me many years later (I was 39 at the time) that my father had laughed all the way home and kept saying they did not know what they were letting themselves in for.The day of the test I was told by my teacher Mr Bhattin I would be reading and chatting with a lady who was coming to see me because I started mid term and they did not know what I liked to do or read or draw. I was delighted. One to one with an adult not my parents was always welcome it meant I could tell stories, I loved to tell stories. My mother called it lying but my granny her mother called it entertainment.I had a ball a lovley middle class woman in tweeds sat with me in the quiet space near the open library and had me read everything from Janet and John books to reference, magazines and newspapers. It was the first time I read a broad sheet. She laughed at my jokes clapped my stories and told me she had had a jolly lovely time. I adopted "jolly" as a go to word I still use now. Sometimes sarcastically as in "oh jolly dee" after being told I was to be responsible for rubbish being taken out at home. Or my regular "Jolly Good" on being told by my carer they will be back at 5pm for tea.That was a Friday so I was quizzed by the parents for 48 hours before they got to meet the nice tweed lady. They went into Mr McCleod's office shutting me outside and talked for what seemed forever then they called me in. I was asked had I enjoyed yesterday? "Oh yes very much" I replied. I was told I had done very well and would be going into another class to see how I liked it. I asked can I still play with my friends from Mr Bhatti's class? I was told yes so I said OK.In my late 20's my mother and father told me what happened. St J's had taken a long time sending my report. This was unusual so BJS decided to put me in the easiest class of three in that year just to see how I got on. Mr Bhatti had sussed out right away their was something unexpected. They asked for the report again but again it did not come. Mr Bhatti had then been told to keep a watching brief on me and note any discrepancies with my peers.He noticed I stared out the window a lot and looked like I had not even opened the book we were reading. He noted I was good at maths knew my times table well and seemed to find it interesting. I paid attention when he was speaking and put my hand up if I knew the answer. The most interesting thing he notes was whilst they were doing basic form printed letters handwriting I was using some kind of cursive script.They finally got my report and upon reading it realised they had to test me. Good old St J's had said I was "educationally Subnormal" I was unable to follow simple instructions, stared out the window all day, could not read or would not read and I was so disruptive as to be a utter distraction in a lesson holding my peers back.Tweedy woman had gotten very angry and told my parents she would support them if they sued. My mum was really upset and my dad was, in his own words almost as angry as when Hitler invaded Poland. They were told at age 7 I had a reading age of 14 or higher, I matriculated well for my age and enthusiastically I had one of the largest vocabularies she had come across for a 7 year old in her career and I had a real drive and passion for learning.And this is the reason after spending 5 of my 7 years singing about writing about and pursuing doggies that I got one. So why am I writing this today. You may have not got this far, my ego is not vast enough to believe I am a brilliant write so I will tell you. I am not a spelling,grammar or punctuation fascist. But todays edition is a painfully badly writter read. Its like the editor or Grammerly was not engaged. There are extra words along with pointless punctuation and an over all feeling from those writing that they would rather be doing something in publishing. We your readers deserve better and you as writers should want to be the best even if it's a shopping list or the ingredients for Yorkshire Pudding.That's it nuff said as they say. Who are they who say nuff said does anyone know?
Caroline Carney ● 1252d1 Comments