… talking of conmen and their performance and without getting all uptight and poopy about conmen – was there ever a conman as wonderful as Max Bialystock..Max finds the perfect play “guaranteed to close on page 4” .. written by the worst playwright that ever lived - Franz Liebkind in German helmet “Hitler was a better painter than Churchill. He could paint an entire apartment in one afternoon – two coats”... directed by camp cretin Roger de Bris “This is a decision that could effect my entire life – I shall have to think about it – I'll do it”... starring out-of-his-head Lorenzo DuBois aka LSD “One and one's two, two and two's four, I feel so bad cos I'm losin' the war”.... His partner (Leo Bloom) then oversubscribes the production thousands and thousands times over 100% to a throng of devoted “liddle-old-lady” angels, all madly in love with Max Bialystock...Then Bingo – this all-time flop of a turkey becomes a massive box-office HIT!Ruin!Prison looms!But before that (with Max innocently looking on in a last-ditch effort to con the judge) Leo Bloom addresses the jury. Here's some of his great monologue:-“your honor, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, Max Bialystock is the most selfish man I ever met in my life...Not only is he liar, and a cheat and a scoundrel, and a crook, who has taken money from little old ladies, he has also talked people into doing things, especially me, that they would never in a thousand years had dreamed of doing. But, your honor, as I understand it the law was created to protect people from being wronged. Your honor, whom has Max Bialystock wronged? I mean, whom has he really hurt? Not me. Not me. I was.... this man.... no one ever called me Leo before. I mean, I know it's not a big legal point, but even in kindergarten they used to call me Bloom. I never sang a song before. I mean with someone else, I never sang a song with someone else before. This man.... this man... this is a wonderful man. He made me what I am today...he did. And what of the dear ladies? What would their lives have been without Max Bialystock? Max Bialystock, who made them feel young, and attractive, and wanted again. That's all I have to say.”Springtime For Hitler..
Stuart Kerr ● 2177d